Dear 21 Year Old Me,

Hey there! 

I know you're busy...probably about to go get your drink on or spend countless hours in the Boilerhouse with CRoss but I need to write you a few lines. So here goes... 

First, isn't 21 awesome? You can finally order a beer in a restaurant or buy a bottle of wine for a movie night. Oh yeah and you can get into bars. Listen, go out as much as possible. There are a couple of nights where you miss opportunities and now, well now you're 24 and going out isn't really happening. There are a few nights where you blow off responsibilities and that nagging voice telling you to go to bed. High five to you on being a typical 21 year old. And when you're out, don't be afraid to dance. Yes, you will look ridiculous. WHY DO YOU CARE? Throw your hands up and belt out the lyrics to whatever catchy Katy Perry song is playing. You just don't let completely loose often enough. 

What's next? Oh pad the bottom of Ar's bed. You won't regret it and it'll save you a broken toe. Buy ear plugs...your roommate gets up early and sprays excessive hair spray everywhere... she also can't seem to stop slamming drawers shut or dropping things. You love her any way. 

Get in the habit of actually working out. I know you won't but I'm asking nicely. Please? Fine, don't. Enjoy that doughnut. 

Have more family nights. There's a night where you and all your girls have a "family night." You'll laugh until you cry, drink until there's a haze, and play several (almost violent) rounds of Spoons. Hug your girls close because now it's been a year since you've seen any of them...it sucks. 

Keep working hard at school. Your Junior year is hard, I know. But I promise you get through it. AND, listen here jerk...I am so mad at you for signing up for badminton as a class for your Senior year. I AM HERE TO TELL YOU IT SUCKS AND YOU AREN'T GOOD AT IT. I know you aren't listening because "how hard can it be?" Really freaking hard and it keeps you from getting honors but whatever, lazy ass. 

I really wish you'd get an internship. It does matter after college and without one you're basically only qualified to stock shelves at a retail store. 

And finally, do not despair or be afraid of the drug trial. It's going to be one of the hardest things you do. You're going to actually look and feel sick for the first time since your diagnosis. It sucks but keep your head up. What you get out of the failed trial is worth the pain, the hair loss, the constant exhaustion, the feeling like crap. I promise you this, you survive it and hell, SPOILER ALERT: you are relieved when you're kicked off the trial. I promise that while your doctor is cussing, your faithful trial coordinator is looking at you with sad eyes, and your mother is holding back tears, you'll have the smallest of smiles on your face. Almost like you knew better things were coming, we're brilliant. 

Live it up. Love every minute of your life because you'll blink and suddenly you're 24 sitting in Panera, missing everyone. Stay strong and stay true to your wonderful, awkward, hilarious, weird self. 

Love, 
Me